


Dededevelopin'

by Schut_Gunfinity



Category: Super Smash Brothers
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Death But Not Really, Everyone is Here! (SSB), Explicit Language, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:46:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24024553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schut_Gunfinity/pseuds/Schut_Gunfinity
Summary: Dedede's sellin' a fightin' game series, and he needs your helpin' to wipe out the competitin'. But to do this, he needs lots of money and marketin'. To help him, all he needs is yo momma's credit card number, those three wacky digits on the back, and the expiratin' month and year. But, you gotta be quickin' so that Dedede can secure some market sharin' and achieve his dreamin's!
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	1. Dedede's Anatomy

Biii!" Kirby said as he filled in the final detail on his artwork. Crayon cast aside, he ran out into the hall, sprinting into an area where Dedede lounged in a strained office chair. Waddle dees were milling about, and Shadow was pouring hot water.

"Biibiibiiiii!" Kirby shouted at Dedede, who jolted in his chair, straining it further.

"Wha-whazit?!" Dedede shouted back in surprise.

"Biibiibii poy poyo," Kirby said, holding up his drawing with a smile.

"Oh, ya made somethin'? Give it here!" Dedede snatched the paper from Kirby and turned it over a few times.

The center of the image was a yellow ball surrounded by folded strips of one-sided blue paper. Yellow stripes were scribbled coming out of the ball. A pink and red blob is next to a bigger red, yellow, and blue blob, they're smiling and looking at the yellow ball.

"Hmm, looks like the ball's shootin' stuff, 'n' the blue 'n' white thin's could be wings... Could make somethin' outta this..." Dedede scooted over to the nearby fridge and opened the freezer.

Kirby started bouncing, overjoyed that his friend was happy with his drawing of them at a party... also for whatever Dedede was about to give him.

"Here ya are," Dedede said, giving Kirby a strawberry popsicle.

"Poyo!" Kirby exclaimed before sticking the popsicle in his mouth and running off.

Dedede examined Kirby's art a bit more before shouting, "Rob! I got somethin' for ya to do!"

After a minute, R.O.B. rolled into the break room.

"What is it?" R.O.B. asked.

"I need ya to make a 3D... uhh, thingy."

"I do not have a '3D uh thingy' in my files," R.O.B. stated.

"Don't be a smartass. You know what I mean, a 3D... figure?"

"A 3D model, sir."

"Yeah, one o' those. I got the thing you gotta make right 'ere." Dedede held Kirby's artwork up for R.O.B. to see.

R.O.B. stared at it before speaking again, "I have finished scanning. Are there any specifications?"

"Yeah, make the blue 'n' white strips around the yellow blob-thing look like wings... Also, make it really flashy."

"Okay," R.O.B. stated before beginning a 180 degree turn to leave.

Shadow had been watching the exchange as he drank his tea. "You've been making games for five years and you still can't remember what a model is?" he asked.

"I ain't no computer guy, I'm a class-A conceptualist," Dedede said before he grabbed a magnet, swiveled on the chair, and stuck Kirby's drawing to the fridge among other drawings.

"You just put a bunch of people in a fighting game and use Kirby as your _conceptualist_ _._ You barely do anything," Shadow pointed out.

"Hey, don't you got cashierin' to do? Probably jealous I ain't put you in a game." Dedede huffed.

"Hmph," Shadow said as he passed R.O.B. on the way out.

"Heheh-" Dedede started laughing, which was enough for the ailing chair to break. "AHHHH!" He fell backwards, the back of his head smacking into the floor. "Uhh..."

The waddle dees in the room ran around panicking until Bandana Dee scrambled in with a stretcher, and ten of them struggled to heave Dedede onto it. They ran out past Shadow, through the arcade, and onto the street, Bandana Dee leading them.

At the clinic, the waddle dees began using their numbers to shove people aside until they got to an office door with a group of waiting people outside. They stationed themselves around the door, moving those nearest out of their seats and away.

"Ow!"

"Dedede's bunch?"

"Knock it off!"

A fortunate circumstance for the waddle dees was that they were exceptionally cute, and the people they'd disturbed, too nice... or too injured and tired to make much fuss.

Bandana Dee tried opening the door, but it was locked, so he started hammering on it.

Kazooie fluttered in and kicked Bandana Dee away. "What's your business, pancake? Can't ya tell he's busy?" she remarked, getting in Bandana Dee's face.

He was outraged; his king was hurt, and this bird wasn't letting him get help. Kazooie fluttered away untouched as he lunged at her.

"Now, I don't know what's wrong with _tons of fun_ over there, but it can wait. Banjo's in trouble 'n' I got here first!" she huffed. "Don't go a knockin' on that door!"

Bandana Dee and his fellows shrunk, looking like sad puddles.

Dedede suddenly sprung up. "Who you callin' _tons o' fun_ , missy? I'm fit as a fiddle!"

Kazooie rolled her eyes. "Eat some fiddles in a salad!"

"Yeah, well you outta eat a... a grass?" The argument ended at this point, Kazooie keeping guard at the door.

A few minutes passed before the door opened and Banjo walked out on a crutch, a cast over his right arm, his leg on the same side had shaven patches with gauze over them. Dedede thought Kazooie was being dramatic, but Banjo looked like he fell down a mountain!

After saying his thanks, Banjo and Kazooie started walking away, Kazooie glaring back at Dedede and his entourage.

Mario walked out of the office and scanned the hall. "Who was kno- oh." He noticed the waddle dees and Dedede.

Under Mario's disappointed glare the waddle dees further turned into sad puddles, and Dedede looked away in embarrassment.

"... Fine, come in." They had no ticket, but Mario knew they'd continue being an annoyance if they stayed.

The waddle dees recomposed themselves and marched in carrying Dedede.

"Alright, what happened?"

"I, uhhh," Dedede stalled, trying to make up a story. He didn't want Mario knowing he was here because he broke a chair and fell. "I got hit in the head by uhhh... by Red's charizard!"

Mario's expression didn't change from mild annoyance. "Alright, take the hat off so I can check the area."

After examination, a few tests, and asking the usual questions, Mario said, "It's just a bump, you don't have a concussion or anything. Get goin'." He moved to open the door.

"What? Ya gotta give me somethin'! I can't barely think with all this pain!" Dedede cried out.

"No, Dedede, we're running outta painkillers, and you don't need any. Go get booze if you're in such dire pain; people are waiting," Mario snapped.

Dedede put his mittens up. "Woah there, fine, fine, I'll go. Jeez. Don' burn the buildin' down." He shuffled off the table and out of the room. The waddle dees grabbing the stretcher and moving after him.

On the way out, Dedede spied a charizard in a bunch of casts being tended to by nurse Joy... Red was in there, too. His eyes bugged out and he kept his head down as he walked by the window.

Outside, Dedede took the waddle dees aside. "Gahdammit, stop bringin' me in every time somethin' happens. We can't be doin' this shit anymore, ya hear? I don' want Mario, of all people, hatin' me even more!"

Bandana Dee nodded with a salute, as did the others.

"Good. Now we gotta get back," Dedede said as the waddle dees unfolded the stretcher and he hopped on.

As they arrived back at the _Dedede-cade_ , the doors jingled and Jeff ran out with a duck chasing him, Ness and Terry following.

"Geese! Stop! He beat Boney fair 'n' square!" Ness yelled as he tried to grab at the hissing duck.

Geese wouldn't stop nipping at Jeff until Terry stepped in and grabbed him by the neck.

"Damn, you could give actual Geese a run for his money!" Terry laughed as Jeff backed away.

The door jingled again as Boney padded out to bark at Geese, who stopped hissing and struggling. Terry let go and Geese fluttered to Boney's back. He stood upright, spread his wings, and hissed at Jeff again, but didn't go for another attack.

"What went on here?" Dedede asked.

"Jeff beat Boney at the finals," Terry explained.

"The dog got to the finals?" Dedede asked.

"He's really good, okay?" Ness said.

"Just 'cause you can't play against somethin' without thumbs 'n' color don't mean they're any good," Dedede laughed.

Geese flew at Dedede, and no one stopped him, Bandana Dee even stepped aside.

"AHHHH, GET 'IM OFF! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! AH HELL!" Dedede jumped off the stretcher and ran around, covering his eyes so Geese couldn't peck them out. All the while, patrons in the arcade lined the windows to watch him embarrass himself.

After they had their laugh, Boney barked and Geese flew back to him.

"That li'l shit's vicious! I ain't lettin' 'im back in!"

Dedede was ignored as they reentered the arcade.

"Hey-HEY! I got the right to refuse service to anyone!" Dedede shouted as he followed them in, but upon crossing the threshold, he gave up and went to the backrooms, the waddle dees following.

Shadow sipped his still-hot tea as Dedede and his posse passed by. "Hmph, Within twenty minutes, you're chewed out by Kazooie, piss off Mario, and get attacked by a duck for being an ass," he stated.

"What?! Who told you?! How-" Shadow pulled a phone out from his quills, found what he was looking for, and shoved it in Dedede's face. "Huh?"

It was a post from _Kaz_ew_ on the town chat. It included an image and a few choice insults for Dedede. Most of the town had already seen it as there were over sixty reaction emotes, all of which were of Captain Falcon pulling a hype face, and a depressed Slippy Frog.

"Gah dammit! She took a picture?! That beaky, oversized bird!" Dedede fumed.

Shadow would make a comment on Dedede's appearance, but decided to have a little class... He instead pointed at Dedede, laughed, and turned back to the counter.

"Yeah yeah yeah, laugh it up!" Dedede yelled back as continued walking.

Entering the break room, he kicked the broken office chair and sat in another, equally ill-fitting chair. He spun around on it as waddle dees went about on their break time.

Eventually, Dedede grew bored and started scooting around the room on the chair.

In the programming room, R.O.B. was working at the only workstation there. Dedede barged in, still on the chair.

"Hey, Rob, what's ya progress?" Dedede asked.

"I am eighty-two percent done with the model," R.O.B. stated.

"Huh? That's fast! How'd ya do it so fast?"

R.O.B. narrowed the shutters over his apertures. "Your request was a flying orb with floating wings. That does not require many resources or much time."

"Alright, now I gotta name this thing! Hmmm... it's real bright... Gleam?" Dedede said, pronouncing "gleam" with an extra "a" after the "g"

R.O.B. entered "Galeem" as the model name and resumed his work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout outs to Super Smash Prose Discord. Most the ideas here were spitballed with the brosephs.


	2. The Dedede-cade

_**About a month later** _

Dedede woke up to the smell of vanilla, pancakes, and gasoline. Along with the smells was the revving of an engine outside. He opened the window by his bed. "Wha- WHAT'S GOIN' ON OUT THERE!" Dedede shouted as he looked around.

Bowser Junior was in the backyard tending to a noisy engine that was spewing black exhaust. Pancake batter was cooking on top of the machine.

Junior looked up at Dedede and waved with a smile. Dedede yelled at him again, but he couldn't hear, so Dedede squeezed through the window and floated down to him. The teen watched him, but darted to flip the pancakes. He put his free hand up to his mouth. "Hey, Dedede! Did I wake you up?" he asked.

"Ya sure did!" Dedede shouted over the machine.

"Good!" Junior. shouted.

"Good?" Dedede asked.

"Good!" Junior repeated

Dedede scowled. "Ya little sh-" he stopped as he looked at the pancakes. They smelled good despite the exhaust. "If I get some o' those, I'll let ya off the hook."

Junior shrugged and tossed a few pancakes onto a plate, poured syrup over them, then handed the plate to Dedede.

One pancake made it in before Dedede stopped inhaling, and the rest continued on their trajectory to his face. He proceeded to spit up the pancake he'd vacuumed up. "THE HELL'S THAT?! It tastes like crap! That ain't maple either!" He pointed in accusation at the jug of syrup.

As Dedede wiped the sticky pancakes off, Junior explained, "Yeah, they're for Wario and Waluigi."

"Why'd ya give 'em to me?"

"You asked for 'em."

Dedede was angry, though he recognized the good cause these pancakes were for... But he didn't understand why the engine was needed. "Why the engine?"

Junior made a rotating gesture with a claw as he spoke, "Testing it for an airship, heats up too much though, so I got the idea for the worst pancakes ever."

"Huh, what'd ya put in 'em?" Dedede asked.

"Oh, uh, a little potassium bromate, tonka beans, borax acid, and alum to make 'em heavy... gotta find something to mask the shitty flavor, though. Maybe cyclamate? No, wait, I'll go with diethyl glycol!"

Dedede had no idea what those chemicals were. "What about the syrup?"

"That's corn syrup with food coloring and a few banned flavorings."

"Damn, you tryin' to kill 'em? Not that I mind."

"Actually... should I add the glycol to the syrup instead?"

"Yeah, sure, but could ya not run that thing at this time o' day?"

Junior looked a little baffled, then checked his phone. "It's almost noon," he stated.

"Huh? GAHDAMMIT!" Dedede shouted before he rushed back into the house. He changed from his pajamas into a sash and ran to the closet to grab a robe.

On the way out, he realized that he was missing his hat. "Dang it dang it dang it, where is it?" He ran back and tore through his room until he found it on the door hook, grabbed it while grumbling, then squeezed through the window, and set off towards town.

While floating, Dedede paddled his arms and legs to try moving faster with little actual effect. He stayed low to avoid the flight zone above. The small town, named Raeru, had no buildings over three stories tall, which gave plenty of leeway to those who flew without a vehicle. The flight zone had been established two years in, after a nasty incident involving the Blue Falcon and a jigglypuff.

At the arcade, the doorbell jingled as Dedede ran in past Shadow and took his position: sleeping in the break room.

R.O.B. was at work in the programming room, adjusting various aspects of the new game. Dedede had ordered him to add numerous people in, and had gotten more boss ideas from Kirby, who was away for a few days on an attack mission.

It was a Tuesday afternoon... Not much was happening in the arcade. Shadow was looking at his phone and rapping his fingers on the counter. Ren, who was supposed to be at the register, slacked off and started playing _Super Smash Bros. Melee_.

**Clickety-clack click-clack click clickety-clack**

"You're getting pretty good," Shadow said over the clicking of Ren's controller.

"I saw Jeff and Boney doing that thing where their characters slide around while attacking."

"You mean wavedashing?" Shadow asked.

"Yes, I see them using it and other techniques to combo. I want to try it." The vigorous clicking noises coming from Ren's controller were growing in rapidity.

"You know, you're going to get carpal tunnel if you keep playing like that."

"What do you mean? They've been playing this way since before I got the job."

"Ren, they have a few years of experience, you don't."

Ren rolled his eyes. "I go into mind palaces, Shadow, I can handle a game... And stop calling me Ren."

"Firing a fake gun isn't the same as being a Melee tryhard, Ren. DK tried and had to give up; he needed physical therapy, Ren. DK's a drummer, Ren," Shadow stated, emphasizing Ren's name every time he said it.

"Overreaction much? It's fine, I'm not an idiot, and I don't think DK has the capacity to consider self injury."

"Hmph." Shadow rolled his eyes at the Donkey Kong comment and continued to scroll through _LOUD69's_ shitposts, many of which involved Fox screwing up maneuvers in his Arwing.

The doorbell jingled as Rock and Roll entered.

"Hello, Shadow and Joker!" both Rock and Roll said.

Shadow didn't look up, and Ren continued focusing on the game.

Rock and Roll gave each other an uncertain look before walking up to the counter.

"Why are both of you so quiet? Is it a game?" Roll asked, cocking her head.

Shadow looked up at the two kids. "You two haven't been here in months. Buy passes or get kicked."

Rock laughed, "Good one, Shadow, we'll get two red passes." He pulled a wallet from his backpack and placed four small pieces of gold on the scale.

Shadow grabbed some red cards with yellow icons of a cartoon hand doing a V-for-victory sign, and slid them over the counter to the kids.

"Thanks, Shadow!" Rock and Roll said before walking off to join Ren.

Shadow cupped his hands over his mouth and yelled, "You're still banned from tournaments!"

"Okay!" Roll replied.

"Hi, Joker," Rock said as he and Roll sat on the couch by Ren.

"AGHH! Dam-er darn it!" Ren shouted when he couldn't recover and his character, Fox, exploded off screen. He turned to finally address the duo, "Hey."

"You're playing Melee? Can I join?" Rock asked.

"Me too!" Roll added.

"Mmhmm," Ren nodded with a small smile, quitting out of training mode

Shadow was listening in. He would point out that Rock and Roll are robots and have an unfair advantage, but he decided to let Ren figure it out on his own.

They set up a three-player, three stock versus match with Ren picking Fox, Rock picking Jigglypuff, and Roll picking Ice Climbers. The stage picked was Final Destination, Ren's choice.

Upon round start, Rock and Roll began dashing and rapidly tapping their analog sticks back and forth in frame perfect dash-dances. They started attacking each other, Ren getting caught in the crossfire as his Fox was frozen, slept, chain grabbed, and rested to oblivion three times in quick succession before they even started taking each other's stocks out.

**Cliclackcliclackclickclclackclcliclaclick**

Ren threw down his controller. "That was bullcrap!" he shouted in disbelief before watching.

Roll ultimately won the match after a round ending chain grab and throw.

"You guys are ridiculous! How do you even do that... thing?" he held his controller up and tapped the stick side to side rapidly.

In the background, Shadow shouted out, "Dash-dancing!"

Rock and Roll giggled before Roll explained, "We're robots."

"Oh." Ren hadn't thought about that. He felt a little dumb.

"That's why they're banned from tournaments," Shadow added with a smirk. Ren glared back at him.

The door rang again as several ink-based lifeforms ran in.

Dedede, sensing trouble, woke up and ran out. "AYYY! STOP!"

The inklings and octolings froze, Shadow was startled enough to almost spill his coffee.

"DROP THE GUNS. IN THE BIN. BY THE DOOR!" Dedede shouted between breaths.

The inklings and octolings looked to each other, then started throwing their ink weapons into the large bin.

"DON'T TOSS 'EM!" Dedede added.

And so they walked back and lowered the weapons into the bin.

"Better!" Dedede said before he scanned the arcade. Upon spotting Ren, he shouted, "You, A-Mamma-Mia! Get off-a that game and get over here!"

Ren exited to the menu and ran to help Shadow with the inklings and octolings.

"Attaboy!" Dedede said, patting Ren over the head as he ran by to the other register.

Dedede went back to the break room, however, he wasn't sleeping again. This time, he pulled out a laptop and began looking at a spreadsheet.

As of the past month, he'd been trying to get Super Smash Bros. into new markets, begging Mario for warp keys to a bunch of planets. Unfortunately for Dedede, maybe fortunately in the long run, Mario had asked what his marketing plan would be. Dedede had no plan, so he started talking out of his ass. When his speech devolved into word salad, he suddenly found himself at the back of the long line leading to Mario's office.

That was the first time. Subsequent attempts, Dedede waiting at the door before dawn on Wednesdays and Fridays, garnered some advice. Mario even gave Dedede a target: I27-Sol3. A well documented version of Earth.

And so, Dedede was now trying to figure out his _plan of action_ , as Mario had called it.

The spreadsheet wasn't made by Dedede. R.O.B. had compiled demographics and specifics about the planet.

Now, there are many Sol3's, all with their quirks. The human population on the one in I27 was nearing post-scarcity, and they're nowhere near ready for space travel. They've had no contact with space faring species, either. A general rule for planets like this would be to remain under the radar... But Mario hadn't made that rule five years ago, and the planet's population became aware of the group, so it's fair game.

Dedede had no idea of how to produce anything, so digital distribution was his only option. R.O.B. had identified the largest digital game market on the planet, which was called "G.O.A.T."

The real issue was how he'd reach an audience. Mario and Link are renowned there, so they're going to be front and center on the cover... But no one on I27-Sol3 knows who over 90% of the roster is... He pondered this conundrum, waddle dees filtering in and out of the room as he remained deep in thought.

When a streetlight turned on in the dusk, its light glinting off Dedede's phone camera, he had an epiphany.


	3. Art of the Dededeal

In the dawn, Redd moved cargo along the outskirts of Raeru.

As he neared his stash, he kept looking around in caution. The brush had been rattling in unnatural ways. Something was watching.

He heard something shuffling nearby and fired a blow dart into the underbrush. Whatever it was, it collapsed, rattling the brush around it.

A paw on his belt knife, Redd moved in to investigate. He pushed the brush aside to find Dedede, paralyzed on his back in a patch of brambles. The dart was right between his eyes.

"For the love of- ughhh..." He poked around in his apron for a vial, jammed it into Dedede's beak, tilted his head up, then stood back.

When Dedede recovered enough to sit up, Redd asked "Whatcha doin' there, bud?"

Dedede put a hand up in surrender, hunching over as he attempted to spit out whatever was left of the bitter antidote in his mouth, the vial shattering on the ground. "ACK! PHEWY! UGH! That stuff's nasty! You ain't got no flavorin's in there or nothin?! What if ya accidentally prick yourself on the finger with one o' THESE?!" he said as he yanked the dart out of his face and held it up.

"Gotta say, I... I'm no idiot. That sounds like a you problem. Now, I got another thing to say: why ya followin' me, bud?"

Dedede took out his wallet, which was a pouch containing a mix of gold and rupees. "I got a deal for ya, Redd-"

"No no no NO. Whatever it is, I gotta decline on the basis of you not bein' a cousin. You're not a cousin; you don't get the deals," Redd said before he threw a smoke bomb at his feet.

"Wait wait wait! C'mon! Dammit!" Dedede shouted as he stumbled forward into the smoke, coming up empty as it cleared to reveal that Redd and his cargo were gone.

What was he to do now? He needed a seller; Nook wouldn't have enough of what he needed and there'd be suspicion if he put a ticket in at the council for a shipment of a bunch of film cameras...

Back in town, Dedede sat on a swing chair in front of the _Ollie_ _ & C_ _o._ café, pondering his predicament.

A whistle was blown and three pikmin ran out of a hatch under the café ordering window. They carried a plated mug with a spoon, a mini cream pitcher, and sugar cubes. The pikmin were warm shades of brown and wore little aprons, their flowers like pillbox hats. All three of them hopped onto the table in front of Dedede, placed the platter, and ran back inside.

Dedede took the cup, breathed in the scent, then took a sip of the black coffee.

Others arrived at the café, either going inside or ordering from Olimar at the window. Soon, pikmin began swarming to deliver food and drink. Patrons avoided stepping on the mint green pikmin paths as they moved about the balcony and garden.

Dedede absently looked around at the other patrons, noticing Rodin across the balcony. He was taking a drag from a cigar, and a broad, white cup was balanced on the arm of his chair.

He looked like the type to be a _cousin_ of Redd's.

As Dedede approached, Rodin tilted his head towards him. A chill ran down his spine and he stopped. When Rodin nodded at him, an eye glowing red through his sunglasses, Dedede turned around and walked back to his seat. He did not look at Rodin again. Why'd he even think to go to Rodin? There couldn't possibly be anything he had that Rodin would want.

Thinking of other, more approachable, clients of Redd soon took a sideline to hunger as the sun rose ever further into the sky. It was time for Dedede's second breakfast.

At the window, sat behind a desk inside a glass enclosure, Olimar was in regular clothes without his helmet. On his miniature desk was a whistle, a tiny tablet, and a minuscule microphone. When he spoke into the microphone, a deep voice sounded from the speaker, "Hello, what's your order?"

"I'd like a... no, four mushroom 'n' moo buns, the oran cheesecake, three brownie cake pops, and a big egg tart," Dedede ordered.

"Will that be all?" Olimar asked.

"Yessiree."

Olimar fiddled with his tablet for a moment before stating, "That will be twenty-nine rupees."

Dedede dropped a few jewels of various colors in the slot by the window; one red, one blue, and four green. He pushed the compartment in, and the rupees skittered into the counting mechanism.

"Have a good day."

Dedede went back to his chair while distracted by thoughts of food.

"You wanted to ask about something?" a voice deeper than Olimar's asked.

"Wha- AHHH!" Dedede shouted in surprise. Rodin had taken his seat.

"This's a damn comfy chair; too bad I can't smoke in it," Rodin said with a smile as he leaned back.

Rodin's cheery demeanor didn't change as Dedede managed his way through heart palpitations brought on by both his eating habits and fear.

"Ya- ya spooked me like all hell! I thought you were threatenin'!"

"Nah, man. I was fuckin' with you. Now, what're you after?" he asked.

Dedede was perturbed. He looked around, wondering if anyone was watching. Was this a prank?

"Look, I see your doubts, but I'm interested in your new game."

Dedede nodded, still cautious. "Yeah? Whatcha want?"

"Let's hear what you want, we'll work from there," Rodin said, giving a nod to Dedede.

"Uh, well... hmm..." Dedede stalled, thinking. This was Rodin he was dealing with! He could probably just step across dimensions without anything needed! This guy wouldn't even need to use Redd's services. But he knew he couldn't be demanding.

"... Can ya get me thirty high-def film cameras?"

"Sure, if I get a copy of the new game when it's done, and you add my favorite girl, Isa."

"I-Isabelle?" Dedede asked in mild confusion.

Rodin nodded.

"That's the terms?" Dedede asked, flabbergasted by how good the deal sounded.

"You want me to write a single paragraph contract?" Rodin asked.

Dedede shook his head, "When's the cameras gettin' here?"

"As soon as Redd can get 'em."

"... Oh. Alright..." Dedede was about to walk off to another seat, then he realized that he had no entry to Rodin's bar. He turned back around. "Wait, that's my seat; also, where do I meet ya?"

"I'll hook you up at your arcade... Another thing, you release the game before I get it, you'll be countin' in hell."

Dedede nodded with vigor. "Yessir!"

"Right." Rodin stood and left for the road, leaving his empty cup.

Something tugged at the bottom of Dedede's robe, and he looked down. A group of pikmin were holding his meal. He slapped the table and they hopped up to drop the meal off, scurrying away afterwards.

Dedede engulfed his meal as he thought about his good fortune in finding Rodin.

The morning continued on without incident, Dedede making his way back to the house in time for first lunch.

Rounding the fence, he heard shouting.

Nana and Popo were trying to get something through the front door. It was a big wooden bench hanging in a precarious position over the porch stairs. Popo struggled to hold it up at the foot of the stairs and Nana was trying to angle it into the door.

"Ya need helpin'?" Dedede asked the two as he moved closer.

"Yeah! Can ya push it up?" Popo asked.

"Got it!" Dedede said, taking hold of the seat and lifting it high so it wasn't at an angle. The thing was heavy for being made of wood.

"Wait! I need to move it so it doesn't hit the wall," Nana said as Popo ran up to help her.

When they adjusted the bench, Dedede was given the okay to push.

After moving the bench inside, Dedede stretched and cracked his back.

"Damn, that's heavy! What kinda wood's that?"

"It's iron wood..." said Popo. "We got it at this mountain village we visited on _Antares Five_ , in _Five and Twenty_. We climbed to the summit and then walked along the paths before going back into town. We're going back later."

Dedede took a moment before he responded, " _Five 'n' Twenty_?! Ain't that a little new to be mountain climbin' in?"

"Yeah, that's why we were there to map it out," Popo said.

"Ain't you two a li'l young to be goin' to uncharted whatchamacallits? Specially you, Popo," Dedede said, trying to muss Popo's hair through the hood.

"I turned twenty months ago," Popo said, ducking away from from Dedede's mitt. "We asked for an unmapped place."

"Mario's lettin' y'all go into unknowns, but ain't lettin' me go sell a game in _One 'n' Twenty-seven_?!"

"That's tough. Maybe he just doesn't trust you," Popo said.

"What ain't there to trust here?!" Dedede exclaimed, arms gesturing to himself.

Popo shrugged before the two climbers began moving the bench into the living area.

"So, did ya have to lug that thing across town?"

"Naw, Mar- uh, we used a shortcut," Nana said.

"Mario showed ya the shortcuts?! Can I see 'em?" Dedede asked.

"Sorry, explorer's secret," Popo said.

"Nana! You're nicer than him! Pretty please with a cheri on top, can ya tell me?!" Dedede begged, grabbing Nana by the boot.

"No!" Nana grabbed her belt flask and poured water over Dedede's head.

Dedede released her and shook the water off. It didn't get through his feathers, but his hat and robe were another story. The white tuft on his hat was a droopy mess, and his robes had soaked everything up.

"Now that was uncalled for!" Dedede shouted.

"Looked pretty called for to me," Bowser Junior said as he passed by Dedede, carrying bags to the kitchen.

Dedede pouted and walked upstairs to his room, returning downstairs in fresh clothes. Opening the fridge revealed a store of produce, and nothing ready to eat via microwave. He looked in the freezer for anything, but there were only bags of veggies and fruit.

"Hey! Where's the real food?" Dedede shouted into the living room, where Junior was on a bean bag watching television.

"Dad got me that food. Wanted me to eat healthier." Junior explained.

"Well, you could've snuck somethin' good in there!" Dedede complained.

"I'm actually taking Dad's advice seriously."

"Ugh..." Dedede looked in the fridge again, trying to find ingredients for a sandwich. He soon realized that there were no cooked meats in the fridge. He wished he could have at least a few waddle dees live with him, then he wouldn't have to attempt cooking... alternatively...

"Hey! Junior!"

"Yeah?"

"When you eatin' lunch?"

"In an hour, and even if I did cook, I wouldn't make any for you."

"Darn."

"Yeah."

And so Dedede toiled with a cut of cucco breast until he had a dry brick of over-seasoned white meat. He sliced it into shambles and stacked it on a piece of bread before squirting mustard and mayonnaise over it, then balanced another slice of bread on top. The tower of pale meat looked rather sad as it began to lean, Dedede steadying it. He didn't like it, but he ate it anyway, inhaling it into his gullet. It tasted as awful as it looked, but it was enough to sate Dedede's appetite.

Suddenly, sirens began blaring outside. A grating, beeping noise sounded from the television, and their phones flashed. Dedede immediately ran into the living room, as did Nana and Popo. The red screen subsided to the sight of a regal, brown haired lady; Princess Zelda. She was stone-faced, and her voice did not waver as he shouted her orders, "This is a lockdown! An unidentified craft has been detected in orbit! Everyone, remain in doors, turn off all lights, and close all windows! This is not a drill! Remain in doors, turn off all lights, and close all windows!"

The message on their phones was from Fox. It stated, "An unidentified craft has been detected in orbit above Raeru at 12:32. Remain indoors, turn off all lights, and close all windows. If you are currently in another dimension, unless ordered otherwise, do not return to Raeru until the lockdown ends."

Zelda's message played on repeat as the four of them ran around the house checking for lights and shuttering the windows. Someone turned the television off, and they all remained on the ground floor of the house.

Sirens continued to blare outside as Junior went to peek through the shutters, Dedede doing the same. All of the houses were dark, people were still rushing for cover. Someone was running their way. Dedede and Junior removed themselves from the window to open the door as the person knocked.

Trevor ran in, his flail clinking as he shut the door after himself. "Whew, thanks."

"Yeah, no prob..." said Junior.

"Ain't you usually out killin' demons 'n' things?" Dedede asked after staring at the Belmont.

"Well, you see, last night there was a party at _The Dump,_ and I had a great time..." the man trailed off as he noticed Jr. He adjusted his next sentence, "But that great time is the reason why I woke up vomiting today."

"Ah... Wait, that's what you call Rodin's place?" Dedede asked, knowing that _The Gates of Hell_ was the only bar in town.

"Huh? Everyone calls it that," Trevor said, an eyebrow quirked.

"Yeah," said Popo.

"How'd you know?!" Dedede asked.

"Twentieth birthday explorer's celebration?" Popo said, shrugging.

"So Mario's in on it, too?"

"You're not?" Nana asked.

"WHat?!" Dedede almost shouted, but kept his voice down, "You mean it ain't a secret?"

"You either need magic or one of these to use the portal," Nana said, taking out a stone with a purple imprinted silhouette of a dancing devil duel-wielding pistols.

"So where's the portal?"

"Explorer's secret," Nana said with a cheeky grin.

"Darn."

Trevor was bemused by the interaction. "Did you ever, oh, I dunno, try asking nicely for entry?" he suggested in the driest tone possible.

Dedede turned to Nana again, "Can you please let me into Rodin's bar?"

"Alright, after this blows over," Nana said.

"Thank ya."

The five of them crashed in the living room as the sirens continued to blare outside. Tension built even as they each tried to avoid seeming worried and watched their phones for updates from the council. Dedede was fidgeting; Nana and Popo were constantly exchanging glances; Junior was fiddling with a small device; and Trevor tried to look at ease, but his shoulders were squared as he remained on alert.

The sound of several aircraft entering supersonic speeds could be heard outside, dampened by the house walls.

Almost an hour later, they heard something crash far off. Junior was tempted to look out a window, but the quiet tension was so thick, he stayed in place.

Their phones flashed again and a new message appeared from Snake's account, _Stiff-Snake_. " _The craft that was in orbit has been identified as a corvette-class space pirate vessel. Approaching Raeru, it reached an elevation of around 30 kilometers above sea level before Fox and his crew downed it over the ocean. It crashed in the southeastern forest. Zelda and a crew is being sent to investigate. Guards will report to the council building for further instructions, otherwise, lockdown is in place until clearance is given. If you are in another dimension, unless ordered, do not return to Raeru until lockdown ends._ "

The scare had come to pass.

Tension dissipated as Trevor took a moment to stretch before he headed for the door. "Thanks for the stay; off to guard duty with me," he said with a mock salute as he held the door.

"See ya!" Junior said.

"Stay safe!" Nana added.

"Will do," Trevor said as he closed the door with a wave.

Junior stood to go into the kitchen, as did Nana and Popo. They were talking about something. Dedede took notice.

"What're ya doin'?" Dedede asked, knowing full well that they were making their lunch.

"Ugh, Fine. I'm making baked fish and some ong choy for everyone. You want any?" Junior asked.

"Sounds good to me! How you makin' that ong choy?"

"Fried with garlic and bean paste."

"Sounds good!"

"Right."


	4. Dedede to the scene

Lunch had gone without interruption, enjoyed by all because Bowser Junior's cooking was far superior to Dedede's.

The television was still playing Zelda's lockdown message on loop, so the four of them were sat on the bench watching a show on Junior's phone. At the moment, a lady was commentating over the scene of two people pouring honey over each other as bees swarmed them.

Nana had a hand over her mouth. "Why would anyone enter such a contest?" she asked.

"I dunno."

"Fame, obviously."

"Money!"

"I don't think I like this show," Nana said.

"C'mon, thes-" Dedede was about to explain the merits of being stung thousands of times for money when an explosion sounded from far off. Soon after, the house creaked under a mild tremor.

"Woah-"

A new message appeared on Junior's phone, interrupting the game show. Junior tapped the text and they all leaned in as he read, "It's from Snake, _During the investigation of the space pirate vessel, Ganondorf, Ridley, and several space pirates were discovered onboard. Explosives were set to go off soon after Ridley used a warp device._ _An escape pod with a cloak was ejected into the atmosphere before the explosion._ ** _We are unable to track it, keep your eyes out._**

_The explosion had a blast radius of 50 meters, and caused severe damage to the surrounding terrain. The crash is downwind of Raeru and will be contained._

_Considering the explosives, we suspect this was an attempted bombing. We also suspect a betrayal occurred between Ganondorf and the pirates soon after the ship crashed._

_I remain on standby with Shulk, Mario, Yoshi, Simon, Roll, Pit, and Cloud._

_Meta Knight, Bayonetta, Rock, and Bowser made it out._

_Zelda and Link are unaccounted for. Ganondorf may have been inside the escape pod._

_Lockdown is no longer in place, but you must remain in groups of 3 or more. Guards will return to their scheduled patrols. Do not approach the crash site unless permitted. Report any strange phenomena to me._ "

"... That was fast," Dedede noted.

"I gotta get to Dad!" Junior snatched his phone and ran for the door.

"Wait! Snake said to not go to the site!" Nana yelled, but it was too late, Junior had already gone out.

"Ah, he'll be fine. The brat's pa's the head guard, remember?" Dedede said as he stood in front of Nana and Popo with his arms up in a soothing gesture.

"There might be radiation! He can't go!" Nana shouted as she and Popo vaulted over Dedede.

"Oh, you're right," Dedede said, running after them.

Junior was just leaving the garage in his clown car as the trio ran out after him.

"Wait!" Popo tried to shout over the engine, but Junior was already in the air.

After looking around in panic for a moment, Dedede jumped up to the clown car as it began to accelerate towards Raeru. He inhaled on the way up and grabbed onto the clown car's rim, floating as he gripped it. Using his mass, he started trying to jostle the clown car.

Junior looked back to find Dedede wide-eyed and shaking his head. The clown car soon descended into the grassy park area across from the house. Nana and Popo followed.

"What's wrong?" Junior asked.

"Don't go!" Nana shouted as she and Popo caught up.

"But I gotta help!"

"Who knows what could've leaked out of that ship! Do you wanna end up ten again?!" Nana shouted.

Junior winced. "No."

"Then you'll wait for Mister Bowser to leave the crash site!" Nana stated. She then added, "... But a call or a text couldn't hurt."

Junior looked at his clown car, then back at the other three. He sighed before taking his phone out of his shell and walking off from the group as he dialed his father.

No one followed, giving Junior privacy.

Nana frowned, still taken aback by the recent events. "No one's been so brave to do something like this."

"Bombin' a town's brave?" Dedede asked, aggravated.

"What I mean is, I never expected it to happen- I mean almost happen."

"I getcha... I remember when this place couldn' be tracked unless your name started with an M, or said person gave you the formula." Dedede said, reminiscing. He shook his head, "Shouldn't've given the thin' to anyone; fuckin' Fox gettin' got. At least we got keys outta it."

Nana and Popo gave each other a look.

"You don' know about the Fox thin'?"

Both Nana and Popo shook their heads.

"Short version: _Someone_ gave the trackin' formula of this here mini-dimension to Fox..." Dedede trailed off and narrowed his eyes when the climbers gave each other another look. "I see them looks! You think I'm talkin' outta my ass!" Dedede accused.

Popo was skeptical. "Why haven't either of us heard about this _trackin' formula_?" he asked, making air quotes

"Y'know what I mean; everythin' moves, but there's patterns! That's what the formulas are for! The keys have stuff written on 'em, 'n' the things you stick 'em in do the legwork. Havin' to do some voodoo math gobbledy to find places again was dumb, 'n' I just tagged along when we was roamin'... Anyway, everyone thought this was a good place for a base, but Fox had the formula for here somewhere on him. He got got by a rival, that rival got the formula off him, 'n' that's how this place got found out." Dedede explained.

"...That happened in the first year?" Popo asked after deciphering Dedede's speech.

"Yep," Dedede laughed. "Fox was suppos' to memorize the thin', though if you ever see any o' them formulas, you'll know you gotta be some kinda robot to know 'em. Of all the people, how a plumber figured that shit out's beyond me."

"Why does no one talk about this?"

"I ain't in the loop no more, but I'm sure it's still an in-joke," Dedede said, snickering.

Popo was about to clarify that he meant the formula when Junior came back.

"Hey." Junior's shoulders were slumped. "I think Dad's dying again."

After an awkward moment, Nana tried to comfort him, "I-I'm sorry... He'll be the same person when he comes back."

"Well, he didn't say he was dying, but he's a bad liar..."

"What do you think happened?" Popo asked.

"He said something about radiation, said it'd be fine. I think he's gonna try to ride it out. Can't he just... I dunno, kill himself to get it over with?"

Dedede blanched in shock at the question, Nana had a mitt over her mouth, and Popo snapped his head up at the large teen in surprise.

"I-I mean, getting a new body can't be that bad if you come back an adult, right?" Junior reasoned.

After some of the shock of the question wore off, Popo wondered, "Yeah, why do only a few people here do that when they get real bad?"

"Y'all never died, that's why you don' know." Dedede sounded bitter. "It don' feel good, actually dyin'. I used to be smaller than this. I don' remember much o' the death part, but the comin' back part is the worst part; you's a veggie for a while, 'n' you see thin's. It happens again? I'd delay even if it was guaranteed! You don' ever say that sorts o' thin' again, ya hear?!" he said, becoming more agitated as he spoke.

The other three looked down. Even if the description was barely intelligible, if it was enough for Dedede to be dead serious about, then it was at least really bad.

Dedede realized that he'd just ranted at them and caused a worse mood. "O-o' course, I'm just as charmin' as before! Nothin' really changed or anythin'!" he said, mitts up in reassurance.

It didn't help.

Junior sighed and leaned against his clown car. "... Do you guys remember your parents?" he asked in genuine curiosity. At least it was a change in subject.

The climbers gave each other another look while Dedede stayed quiet.

"... I hated my mom and dad, was glad when I got to live with Nana's family," Popo said.

"What?! I thought you two was siblin's," Dedede said.

Popo gave him a funny smile. "No! We're friends!" he laughed.

"I can see why you'd think that, but we lived on a mountain! Everybody dressed like this!" Nana said, motioning to herself.

"Learn somethin' new everyday I guess," Dedede said, rubbing the back of his head.

"Anyway, my mom and dad got into fights, stole, and didn't do much for anyone. The elders kicked them out and I had to stay with Nana's family," Popo explained.

"Huh, interestin'... So what's your last names?" Dedede asked.

"Hajime," Nana said.

"Hatto..." Popo seemed sheepish about it.

Junior cracked a smile at the name.

"...What's wrong with _Hatto_?" Dedede asked, not knowing the meaning.

"Nothing! Nothing. It's just his family," Nana said, not wanting to give Dedede joke ammo.

"No, I gotta know now. What's it mean?" Dedede asked.

Popo decided to bite the bullet. "My name's a joke, basically _loud noise_ and _reaction of_ _shock_."

"Heh, I won't make fun if it's already a pun... Amamiya though? He's got no pass," Dedede said

"The new kid? What'd you call him?" Junior asked.

"A-Mamma-Mia."

"Shoulda put a hat on him," Junior remarked.

"Ooo, that there's an idea. I'll ask Luigo if I can take one o' his spares."

"Luigo? You mean Luigi?" Nana corrected.

"Yeah, Luigo. Guy complains about his lumbago, I call 'im Luigo," Dedede stated.

"That's- what's that?!" Junior pointed at something in the sky over the forest.

It wouldn't be easy to notice if Junior hadn't pointed it out. Almost invisible, something was drifting in winds over the nearby forest. The escape pod.

"Aight, I know it's dumb, but we outta check it out," Dedede said.

"No."

"No."

"Maybe."

The climbers gave Junior a look.

"Hear me out," Junior said as he hopped into the clown car. "I'm sure guards are going to be there, so we won't be in any real danger! Get in!"

"Sorry, but we aren't going," Nana said, Popo nodding in agreement.

"Well I am!" Dedede exclaimed, not getting that Nana's _we_ meant _all of them_ as he hopped into the vehicle. "Drive! Drive! Drive!" he said, grabbing onto the rim.

As Junior piloted into the air, Nana and Popo were hopeless to stop them as the propeller's gust buffeted them.

"Just keep your distance!" Popo shouted after them as they accelerated off into the northern forest while hanging low to the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plissken The Serpent inspired my take on the Ice Climbers, his stuff's real good. Another note, lots of characters are aged up like Nana and Popo. Bowser Jr.'s around 15 and is about as big as Dedede.


	5. A Dededangerous situation

Bowser Junior flew low as they entered the forest, the clown car swaying as he dodged between trees. Every now and again, they'd elevate over the canopy to see how far they were from the descending pod. As they closed in, they heard a sudden, loud bang.

When they found it a few moments later, one end of the huge thing was entrenched in the ground.

Parking far up in a tree, Dedede and Junior watched from the branches as the pod door opened and two people ran out- well, one of them in a torn dress ran while holding the other one in green. It was Link and Zelda. They ran behind a tree. Dedede and Junior didn't get a good visual, but something was sticking out of Link's chest.

Ganondorf followed the two out, needles sticking through the burnt cloth and exposed chain mail on his arms and legs. It seemed he was still recovering, as he used a sharp piece of metal to prop himself up.

They couldn't hear Link or Zelda, but Ganondorf seemed to know exactly where the two hylians were. When he got his bearings, he began a march toward the tree, blackened cape billowing behind him. The dim forest floor glowed as the sharp piece of metal in his fist crackled with yellow electricity.

Junior activated a function of the clown car and they flew through the treetops in silence to get a view of Zelda and Link.

Zelda was leaning on the tree while Link was sat against it. Clutching her chest, Zelda's shoulders were heaving with her ragged breathing. Link had a piece of jagged metal jutting from his chest, his eyes half closed, arms slack on the ground.

Spotting the two in the clown car, Zelda motioned for them to run.

A croaking laugh caught their attention.

Ganondorf had stopped his march and was leering at them. He raised the piece of metal up at them and a ball of lightning shot out from it.

Junior killed the engine for a split second, causing them to fall through the branches as the lightning passed overhead.

More came as Ganondorf sent a volley of flames their way, tearing chunks out of trees and starting fires. The attack trapped them in a blaze. He called Zelda out as he avoided hitting the tree she hid behind, "They will burn, o' Princess who cowers behind trees! Are you such a fragile doll that you must have something to stand behind?"

Zelda looked down at Link, then at the Master Sword still in his grasp.

Link shook his head.

After a shaky breath, Zelda said, "... Sorry, I-I must." She gently took the handle of the sword.

Link wouldn't let go or acknowledge what she said, face half drawn in defiance, half slack with delirium.

"... P-please." Zelda was sobbing. "Link, please."

Link couldn't hear her.

In a brash move, Zelda took the sword from Link, muttering a blessing to him.

"Princess! You're disappointing your underlings!" Ganondorf taunted as the barrage on Dedede and Junior continued, falling trees feeding the burning underbrush.

Zelda stepped out, both hands on the Master Sword as she dragged the heavy blade. Slicing diagonally from the ground, a wavering ribbon of energy formed at the tip of the sword and cut through the brush towards Ganondorf.

The wave was sliced in half, both ends hitting the pod behind Ganondorf as he resumed his march towards her.

Steeling herself, Zelda took a step forward. The Master Sword changed, its blade slimming, the wing-guards folding around her hands. It had become a rapier. She showed no reaction, too exhausted to do so. Even with the sword lighter, she still needed both hands to wield it.

Ganondorf bared his teeth in a grin. "Not even the sword knows futility," he bit out before stabbing at Zelda, a ball of lightning screeching through the vegetation.

She fought through exhaustion to hit it, reflecting it into the escape pod. Mustering more power, she stabbed back at him with trembling hands, firing off a beam of light. Faster than Ganondorf had expected, it blew his leg off as it continued into the ground, causing dirt to rain from behind him. As he fell forward, he struck the piece of metal into the ground to remain standing.

A weaker beam was fired, but Ganondorf ripped off part of his makeshift crutch in time to deflect it down in front of her, launching dirt and branches up at her. Despite the missing leg, he still he inched ever closer to Zelda, teeth grinding in a strained smile. Engaging in a new tactic, Ganondorf took shots at the ground just out of the sword's range to try disorienting her as she continued to sloppily deflect lightning.

Realizing the sword in this form was her best chance and unknowing if it would revert if she backed away, Zelda could only defend through the dirt in her eyes as she was peppered by unceasing lightning. Her adrenaline was waning, a sharp pain in her chest with every breath.

Taking advantage of the distraction, Dedede and Junior had taken a moment to collect themselves. Dedede split off from Junior, floating up to find a gap in the burning canopy as Junior flew between the trees until he was above the fight.

Fire rained down on Ganondorf, only annoying and obscuring the man's vision as the brush was further lit aflame.

Ganondorf was about to fire back at Junior, but Zelda shot another beam at him, keeping his attention on her.

Dedede floated up above the canopy and smoke. The fire had spread far due to Ganondorf's range. Spotting arwings, he tried to get their attention as they darted in and out of the smoke.

One of them flew overhead and released a red flare into the sky. The arwing rounded back to hover in front of him. It was Falco. He gestured behind himself, pointed down, then at Dedede. They'd group up, then follow him.

Dedede gave a thumbs up and Falco popped open his cockpit to toss a flare to him.

When the other two arwings joined, Falco gave the okay and Dedede led the way as they hovered close. At the burning canopy, the arwings shifted into walker mode and continued their descent.

The moment Ganondorf was in sight, the Star Fox crew fired upon him from the trees. The first shot was deflected, clipping Slippy's ship, but the shots that followed were too rapid for him to react to. Ganondorf's upper half flew into a burning tree trunk as his lower half scattered over the underbrush.

Zelda collapsed, the Master Sword reverting to its original form before it hit the forest floor.

Junior flew down and hopped out of the clown car to find Link as Dedede ran to check on Zelda. She was in bad shape, her breathing stalling for moments at a time.

Falco and Slippy sprayed a dark blue foam around to stop the inferno from engulfing the area while Fox communicated with the council and guards.

Junior ran out from behind a tree and shouted over the inferno, "Link renewed!"

Dedede was open mouthed, unable to say anything.

"Where is he?" Falco asked as he hopped out of his ship.

"This way!" Junior said, pointing behind himself at the tree that Zelda had hid behind.

Dedede moved towards Zelda as Slippy left his ship.

"Don't move her!... I-I don't think she's gonna make it," Slippy said.

"... Gah! I hate this!" Dedede shouted, kicking the ground. "Barely did nothin'!"

"I mean, she got to see Ganon blow up so hopefully she'll be in a good mood," Slippy said with some optimism.

As they waited for others to arrive, Junior and Falco walked out from behind the tree, Junior carrying Link on his shoulder.

Link was wearing a blue shirt and beige trousers instead of his green hat and tunic. He seemed shorter and his hair was lighter. No longer dead or injured, but unresponsive.

With Junior watching Link, Falco addressed Ganondorf. What was left of him was still on fire at the base of a blackened tree. He re-entered his ship and sprayed the area with foam, then kicked the remains away from the blaze with the ship's legs.

Slippy had hopped back into his ship and sprayed more chemicals around with the other three as they waited for Ganondorf to renew.

More people arrived, first of which was Pit.

"Hey guys- woah..." Pit took in the scene; bits were scattered over the forest floor, Link was different, and Zelda was a mess on the ground.

"Pit, wait until Zelda renews, then fly them to the clinic," Fox ordered.

No explanation needed, Pit waited without a word.

Above, a green and magenta bolt had been fired into the sky above the forest, expanding into clouds that released a deluge of water.

Zelda had stopped breathing and her body solidified, turning into a black pod. The exterior cracked to reveal a much younger Zelda with golden hair and an airy dress. Also unresponsive.

Pit hoisted her over his shoulder before Junior stacked Link onto the angel's other shoulder. "I'll be back, guys!" he said before his wings glowed and he took off, winds blowing a hole into the burning canopy for him to leave through.

More help arrived to put out the fires as Captain Falcon and other pilots ferried people and supplies to the area; Corrin was coalescing rain water into a shallow wave that followed her through the underbrush, weaving between trees in her dragon form; and Pokemon trainers were directing their water types to put out fires.

Dedede would help... but he was hungry, and it was hot, and he wanted to hitch a ride back to town on the clown car. Only issue: Junior insisted on helping put the fires out... He also pointed out that they had lunch little under an hour ago. And so Dedede resorted to other means.

"No!"

"C'mon! I directed them to this here scene!" Dedede begged Mario, who had run in alongside other explorers from, presumably, a secret warp west of the fire.

Mario put on an obnoxious falsetto, a cynical smile hidden under his mustache as he tried to walk around Dedede, "Ohhhh yes! Droppin' you off in-a town for your third-a lunch is of utmost importance!"

"But I'm starvin'- HOW'D YA KNOW IT'S THE THIRD LUNCH?!"

"Here!" Mario dropped the voice faster than the large canister he was carrying and shoved a bunch of dried blue poppies into Dedede's gut. "If you're so hungry, eat these 'n' blow at anything that's on fire." Before Dedede could react, Mario had picked up the canister and was walking off towards Falco, who was unloading similar canisters from a hatch on his arwing.

Dedede looked at the flowers, wondering what they tasted like. He munched on one.

It was cooling, tasted earthy, and the seeds were crunchy. The one caveat to the pleasant snack was that the crunched seeds released a cold compound that quickly expanded in his mouth. Opening his beak released a stream of frost that painted a blackened tree trunk with growing blossoms of frost.

Floating around while using the frost breath as a propellant, Dedede blew at the base of any fire that he spotted, stopping to refuel every now and again.

He spotted Falcon talking with Lucina as they unloaded supplies.

"Loooovers by the caaaamp fiyahhhh!" Dedede sang out as he floated overhead, frost spilling from his mouth.

The two looked up at him, Lucina seeming irritated while Falcon flashed a smile, a hand at the back of his neck.

"Hahaha- AHH!" Dedede knocked into a tree, then hit another as he spun out, the screaming only propelling him into more trees. Everyone within line of sight watched, though Mario looked up for a moment before shaking his head and resuming work on wrapping a body bag over a renewed Ganondorf.

Dedede finally ran out of frost breath as he screamed into the dirt by the Falcon Flyer.

Lucina's annoyed expression didn't change, but Falcon was all grins as he took off his helmet and tugged on his scarf to cool off.

"Hey! Mind shooting a little frost our way?" Falcon asked.

"What do I look like to ya? A cooler?"

"Yeah!" Falcon stood facing Dedede, ready for it.

Dedede ate another flower and hit Falcon with a full blast, hoping to at least freeze his face.

When the frost breath subsided, Falcon stood just as before, his brown bangs and eyebrows tipped with a little frost.

"Thanks, Dedede!" Falcon said with full range of motion as he gave a mock salute and turned to walk back to the Flyer.

"Bullshit!" Dedede said under his breath.

"What's that?" Falcon looked back, knowing exactly what Dedede said.

"Nothin'!"

"Alright then!" Out of Dedede's sight, Falcon had a shit-eating grin that spread to Lucina.

Now, Lucina's uncharacteristic grin _was_ in his sight. Dedede wanted to say something to them, but instead munched on more flowers and continued putting out fires.

"Hey!"

Dedede blew frost from the corner of his beak to turn around.

Shadow was glaring up at him. "Read your texts!" he shouted before speeding off to the supply drop area.

Rolling his eyes, Dedede pulled his phone out of his pocket.

There were seventy-three messages.

Mouth open, he bounced from tree to tree again.


	6. Dedede on dial

Dedede scrolled through texts as he sat below a tree that gave no cover from the rain.

Some were from Shadow, _ihateyouall,_ the Hedgehog, asking if the arcade would open tomorrow; two messages from Ren, account name: _haremfucker248_ , also asked if the arcade was going to be open, and if he was getting paid for that day; Bandana Dee, _b_ _ananaDee_ , was worried about Dedede's safety; texts from Adeline, _A_ _ddy,_ also seemed generally worried; also, Bowser and the Koopalings had all messaged him to stop Junior.

And then Dedede saw posts to town chat from Nana and Popo's accounts, _Nan_Nan_ and _Pon_Pon,_ telling everyone that he and Junior had gone off to the escape pod.

He pecked the screen with his beak, sending, " _arcade is closed tomorrow_ " to town chat.

Replies to the message were reasonable until Ness, _just_Onett_things,_ posted an image of a smiling, afroed human in a suit with text stating " _Arcade's closed due to AIDS and stingrays._ ", which was followed by Ness's friends spamming versions of the image, then the rest of town. A few were pictures of Dedede and his staff with edited in afros. Edits of the council members were rampant; most of them of Mario, but Trevor, _belmont_cheese,_ got creative and replaced Viridi's hair with a hedge-fro.

Dedede grinned at the replies as they came in until he spotted a message from Bowser's account, _boza_._ It stated, " **@** _ **KingD3** , **@GIVE_ER**_ _join me for dinner at the guardhouse by 5:30."_

Reaction emotes to Bowser's demand were generally positive, many reacting with Captain Falcon's hype face. Dedede began pecking out a message to counter it, but gave up when he couldn't come up with anything.

He shoved the phone into his soaked robes and crossed his arms, then he realized that the shadows looked a bit long and brought out his phone again for the time: 4:58pm.

"Ughhhh."

A sudden gust tossed burnt leaves up in a whirl before a blue, twisting blob appeared, a deep voice emanating from it. "Idiot!" it said, forming into a furled cloak before flashing open to reveal Meta Knight. "Encouraging a child to go into danger?!" His sword was leveled at Dedede, causing him to jump back, hitting the tree behind him and squishing against it as he tried to back up while raising his mitts.

"Hey! Hey! Hey! He's a big boy! He'd've gone anyway! I mighta saved the day if I say so myself!"

Meta Knight's glowing eyes narrowed as the sword neared Dedede, hissing as rain came into contact with it. "What do you mean by _saved the day_?"

"I-I got Fox 'n' all to help! W-we was toast if I didn' do that!" Dedede stammered out as he sidled away from the sword.

The heat radiating from Meta Knight's blade subsided as he sheathed it. "If a similar situation arises, do not encourage such behavior," he bit out before darting off.

"Awww c'mon... Hey! Could ya gimme a ride to town?!" Dedede shouted after him.

No reply came.

Dedede huffed and began figuring out his journey back to the group at the escape pod, turning out his pockets in search of more flowers to use as fuel. There were none left.

A hurried sprint back to the pod soon devolved into a dragging walk, his soggy robes further weighing him down.

Through the trees in the distance, he could see the Falcon Flyer lifting off, its bow turning towards town.

Taking a deep breath, he leapt up to a barren treetop and waved at the ship, hoping Falcon would see him.

Though it began a route towards town, Dedede's hopes were answered when it swerved towards him.

"Get on!" Falcon shouted through the ship's speakers as he maneuvered close to Dedede.

Tempted to complain over having to cling to the outside, but not one to risk it with how little time he had, Dedede floated on and grabbed the protruding shielding over the ship's cooling system.

As the ship angled towards town, an announcement came from Falcon, "You'll have to jump at the guardhouse. I'll give a beep when we get close."

"Gotcha!" Dedede shouted back, not knowing if Falcon could hear him.

The increasing speed of the Flyer caused a strain on Dedede's arms, but he held fast as the wind kept his eyes closed. He was sure his clothing had dried by the time a loud buzz sounded and he let go, the momentum continuing his trajectory.

Dedede puffed up when he was just above the town buildings, opening his eyes when he bounced off pavement. Ahead was a pagoda-style building with dark green roofs, the base of its stone foundation in the river. A gated bridge led over the water to its courtyard.

Bowser Junior was leaning on the gate's frame, clown car parked next to him. He was hunched in on his phone.

Dedede exhaled as he neared the ground, the momentum keeping him on the move. "Hey, kiddo!" he said as he skidded to a stop by the gate.

Junior looked up, teeth poking out from a grin.

"Why you smilin'? Ya pa's about to kick our asses... Oh hey, what time is it?" he asked.

"We got five minutes, and I'm not worried, Dad's just gonna lecture me..." Junior leaned in, a conspiratorial look about him. "Hey, I'll vouch for you if you talk up how I helped in the fight."

"Hmm..." Dedede imagined the possible punishments involved some sort of manual labor, and this would only benefit him... "Ya got yourself a deal," he stated, a mitt out for a handshake.

Junior instead gave him a fist bump. "Right, just say some believable stuff, nothing too amazing. Okay?... Oh, and don't eat or drink anything," he muttered

"Huh? Why not?" Dedede asked as he leaned on the gate by Junior.

The gate punched outwards, pushing Dedede with it, the nigh spherical penguin continuing into the railing bordering the moat. Junior jumped at the gate opening, but had to cover his ears at the shrill wheeze coming from Dedede as his lungs emptied, sounding like a loud dog toy.

Bowser lumbered out while Dedede was still recovering from the wind being knocked out of him. "Awfully brave to be leaning on the door. Follow me. Don't dally." He began marching back.

Still reeling from taking the railing to the stomach, Dedede was grabbed by the back of his robe and dragged along to the bridge by Junior before he yanked his robe back and walked on his own.

Entering the courtyard through the forked doorway, they walked around the center pond to the building entrance. Bowser slid the heavy door open for Junior and let it slide shut before Dedede could get all the way through, hitting him on the way in.

Walking along with the other two, Dedede yelped when he stepped on a floorboard that erupted a high pitched chirping noise, standing stock straight when Bowser turned his head to glare.

Several more floorboards chirped, Bowser's feet dragging as his march slowed on the second floor of the building. He led them to a paper door that he slid open, standing by until both entered before closing it.

Marching behind a short table, Bowser hesitated before he sat down on a cushion. Junior sat on the floor opposite him as Dedede got the hint and sat next to Junior.

On the table was a steaming ceramic teapot, three teacups, three small platters, three bowls, and three bento boxes with chopsticks balanced on them.

Bowser poured tea into the cups and plated them before placing two of them next to the bento boxes in front of Dedede and Junior.

Glaring at them, Bowser spoke, "Both of you are disappointments; especially you, Junior. What could you gain from going to the pod that outweighed the risk of being killed?"

Junior took a moment before responding, "I... thought guards would be there and..."

The explanation was lost on Dedede, who was distracted by the food. Seasoned glass noodles, seaweed soup, fresh eel on rice, and fried dumplings...

"... What'd he do the whole time?" Bowser asked, eyes shifting to Dedede.

"Umm, well... He was trying to convince me to not go to the forest. I mean, he was really annoying about it; trying to... I mean, yelling at me and stuff."

Bowser's furrowed eyebrows didn't change as he looked over at Dedede. "... You," he said, voice cutting through Dedede's distraction.

Dedede jumped. "Wha?"

"What'd you do during the incident?"

"Uh... I went along with it at first, but when we started gettin' closer, I kept tellin' him to go turn us around, but he was real curious. Uh, he... kept sayin' there'd be guards 'n' stuff there. Oh yeah, 'n' he steered us outta trouble 'n' did a bunch o' maneuverin's to mess with Ganon, yeah... Uh huh, he's a real good pilot, yep," Dedede said.

"... Uh huh, huh?" Bowser remarked, suspicious expression unceasing.

"Uh huh."

"Right... Well, both of you regret your decisions, correct?"

They nodded.

"Junior, we'll talk more... Dedede, from what Fox was saying, you signaled for help."

"Yeah." Dedede nodded, beak curving up in pride.

"You're getting mandatory training."

The smile evaporated as his eyes opened wide. "Huh?"

"Yes. Four days a week for three months. Half of it, you'll be with Miss Karen for exercises; other half, training with the volunteer trainers."

"W-wait, wai-"

"No. You go headfirst into this kinda situation once, you'll do it again... At least you'll be more useful when it happens again. I'll send the regimen. Follow it or Snake's gonna drag you there plucked and broiled."

"Bu-"

"Six days a week?" Bowser challenged.

"No-"

"Then bow and leave."

Dedede gave a quick bow and headed for the door, but got stuck on the lack of doorknob, looking around for one.

"It slides," Bowser stated.

He slid it aside and speed-waddled his way through the halls, jumping at every chirping floorboard he triggered before making his way through the courtyard. The gate wouldn't budge before he remembered he could float, circumventing it. He would keep going towards his house, but the winds were against him, and Junior would be out soon, so he could get a ride...

After half an hour of waiting, sunk cost fallacy having set in, Dedede's phone buzzed and he checked it. It was a message from Adeline.

It stated, " _Kirby got back and he found someone who wants to meet you. Touring him and a few others around the greenhouses. Will have steamboat later._ "

Though he was curious about this new person, the prospect of a meal especially convinced Dedede. Usually, newcomer parties didn't have much going on, but he was really hungry.

He pecked out, _"40 min."_

The greenhouses and botany lab were visible on a wooded hill at the edge of town. Upwind from the guardhouse, too. It would be an uphill trek for Dedede.

He huffed, climbing up the gently sloped pavement, the glass facilities growing ever nearer as he strained against the light breeze that hindered his progression towards reaching them on their somewhat elevated pedestal. For Dedede, this ten minute walk was a thirty minute hike.

Crawling by the time he reached his destination, his stomach snarling with realization that it was far past first dinner, he was relieved when he pushed through the front doors into a low walled stone corridor, shuffling onto an auto-walkway on the left.

Cool colors ebbed on and off Dedede as he moved down the open corridor, the area awash in a pattern of cool colors from the east facing side of the stained glass roof. Warm mixed with cool towards the far end of the hall, where the warm colors of the roof faced the west. Numbered signs hung from the low walls by the exits leading to their respective greenhouses.

Flipping onto his back, he pecked at his phone again, asking, _"Where you guys at?"_

Adeline replied, _"16."_

Propping himself up into a sitting position, he watched and waited for the number sixteen to come close as his stamina returned. He shuffled off the auto-walk as it came up. The colorful roof gave way to open sky and trees as he walked on a straight path to a greenhouse, the massive, glowing building seeming even larger with all of its panes sticking out, and its double doors propped open.

Inside, arranged around a twisty oran tree were round tables with bubbling pots on stoves at their centers. Around each pot was a spread of raw meats, tofu, vegetables, noodles, and sauces. A lot of people were present, too. This was much bigger than a normal newcomer party. Dedede would drool, but he kept his beak shut, further embarrassment after the guardhouse not on his menu.

Standing by a canvas and a bucket, a teen in a red beret and a black long shirt called him out over the din of chatter as she waved him over, "Dedede!"

"Heya, Addy," Dedede said as he hopped over a stream up to the lump of grassy terrain she was set up on. He glanced around now that he had a better view on the little hill. Of the many people present, he noticed a few in particular. Of course, Ness and his group were milling about, but there was some guy who had a toothpaste blue pompadour talking to a blonde woman, Sonic and Tails were with a spiky red person he didn't recognize, pikmin were milling about the plants, and the waddle dees were all sat at one table.

"I was just setting up, do you notice anything?" Adeline asked with a grin when he looked at the waddle dees.

After a headcount, his mitten bobbing with each number, he determined that there was one more waddle dee than usual, making a total of eight including Bandana Dee.

He grinned. "They found anotha 'dee? Thanks fer tellin' me about this here party..." Then his shoulders drooped. "I did some dumb shi- stuff, huh?"

"... I mean, you called for help, though, right?" Adeline reasoned.

Dedede nodded.

"And you helped with the fires?"

"Sorta- uh, yeah," he said in a way that wouldn't even convince Pit.

She cracked up, "And then you got punished?"

"...Yeah." His smile faded as he stared down at the bucket rather than at Adeline.

"Then that's enough."

He looked back up at her. Her mouth was in a line.

"You got in trouble, did what you could to help, and got punished. You paid your due, so learn from it."

"Alright," he grumbled.

Adeline's smile returned. "It'll be a while before we eat, go say hi to the new 'dee." She pointed with a brush at the group of waddle dees at their table, who were now giving secretive glances towards Dedede.

"Uh- okay," Dedede said, caught off guard by the sudden shift, but not against it. He went off towards the waddle dees, shouting, "Heya guys! They found anotha one o' you?!"

The waddle dees stood as he approached, marching into four pairs facing Dedede, Bandana Dee standing at the back with another waddle dee.

Hopping in sync, then taking two sliding steps out, they tucked their limbs and rolled back in, one of each pair hopping over the other. Those who hopped did a pose and twirled as the others shuffled side to side. Both sides moved apart as Bandana Dee tossed his partner forward, the waddle dee landing on the tip of its toes and wiggling its nubs like jazz hands.

Dedede ran up. "Howdy there, kiddo, long time no see!" he said as he held the waddle dee by its little nubs and went along with its hopping dance.

After they stopped, he looked around. "Huh? Where's Kirb?"

The waddle dees seemed to sweat drop as Bandana Dee gestured to the door.

"Oooh, bein' kept from the vittles?" His stomach growled on queue with his question.

Bandana Dee nodded.

"Y'know, I never seen so much food at one o' these gatherin's... Did y'all help?" The last sentence came off as aggressive, though Dedede didn't mean it.

The waddle dees looked at each other before Bandana Dee shook his head.

"Huh."

A few minutes later, Lucas and his father, Flint, walked in with someone who Dedede didn't recognize. He had a limp, a goatee, and a receding hairline. Looked a little dopey, too.

Dedede, despite his hunger, was never hangry enough to want to spoil a first impression, he waved as he walked up to them at their table. "Heya, guys. Heya, stranger, what's your name?" he asked the man.

A bout of awkwardness passed before the man spoke, "Uh, hi, I'm Duster..." A moment later, he stuck his hand out as if remembering a scripted formality.

Dedede took the handshake. "Nice to meet ya, I'm _King_ Dedede," he said, emphasizing "king" and puffing his chest.

"He's no king, jus' call 'im Dedede," Flint remarked in a dry drawl, adjusting the brim of his cowboy hat.

"Hey! You don't hafta be like that," Dedede complained.

Lucas shrugged at Duster with a silly grin on his face.

Flint snorted, "I know your play; don' be tryin' to get 'im to call you king."

"Why you gettin' in his business?" Dedede accused, poking his mitten at Flint. Turning to Duster, he said, "You can call me king if ya want!"

"...I'm good," Duster said, hands up.

Dedede deflated at that, playing up his disappointment.

"Hey, who're they?" Lucas asked, pointing at the toothpaste pompadour man and blonde woman, then the spiky red person hanging out with Sonic and Tails.

"That's Knuckles, he's a little... He got us into trouble more than once. Split off from the group a lot, too," Duster held no amusement in his voice, none on his face, either; the tired rings under his eyes telling.

"You talkin' about me?!" Knuckles shouted.

Duster cupped his hands around his mouth. "Yeah! You were a horrible team player!"

"Heh!" Knuckles said, rubbing the back of his head as he looked elsewhere.

Duster rolled his eyes at Knuckles before gesturing at the toothpaste man. "Those two are Peter and Momoko, they were fighters in some sort of thing with weird arms, with titles of some sort, but we just call them Peter and Momo. They got these masks that make their arms all springy 'n' stretchy... good for grabbin' stuff. Now, they were _actually_ helpful!" The last bit was shouted to make sure Knuckles could hear it, though he ignored the call out.

"... Anyway, we ought to greet 'em ourselves," Flint said, getting up, Lucas following his lead. Dedede followed along. Duster seemed to have another thing to add on, but he dropped it.

As they walked up to the two, Flint gave a lazy wave to catch their attention. "Hey there, I'm Flint 'n' this is Lucas. So, y'all're Peter 'n Momoko? Duster told me y'all made yourselves useful."

Momoko was the first to respond. "Hey back. I guess there's no need for introductions?" she said, a half smile gracing her features.

"Yeah, heh, kinda glad, though, I'm no good at those," Peter added, hair bouncing as he rubbed at the back of his head, teeth showing in a sheepish grin.

As they conversed, there seemed to be some communication of an unspoken agreement to not acknowledge Dedede. Flint and Lucas had moved into positions that closed him off.

Dedede realized that they didn't really want him there, so with an accusatory glare, he walked off to rejoin Adeline. She had moved to the table occupied by waddle dees, who made space for him when he arrived at the other end. Bandana Dee was seated next to Adeline.

"Hey, Dedede! How'd you like Duster?" Adeline asked.

"I don' like 'im," he grumbled.

"Huh?! What happened?"

"Didn' call me king!" he half shouted, though his grin betrayed his humor.

Adeline giggled before asking, "What about the others?"

"Well, I didn't get much o' a chance to talk with the toothpaste hair guy and his friendo, 'n' I don' usually like Sonic's bunch."

Adeline leaned to look past Dedede. "Hey, did you notice the cat?" She asked.

"Huh?"

"There was a cat that was with Duster's group. He can't speak, but Amamiya's been translating for him."

"Huh, neat," Dedede said as he looked around at the other people in the greenhouse.

Two tables away from them was Mario and Rosalina, Snake and Otacon were joining them. All of them were wearing nice clothing. _Snobs_ , Dedede would say.

"Oh, that's rare," he said in reference to Rosalina being at a gathering. He leaned in to the table. "How much you wanna bet Mario got her to come here?"

"That is a fact, not a gamble," an accented voice joined in. The waddle dees cleared space for Meta Knight and Kirby as they took their seats.

"Hey Meta Knight! Hey Kirby!" Adeline said.

"Poyo! Poybiipoin! Bii bii biiii! Bapopo bii!" Kirby exclaimed as he sat by her.

"Hey guys... 'Ey, Meta Kight... you ain't gonna stab me are ya?" Dedede joked.

"I said my piece."

"Uh... Okay! So, I'm outta the loop, why's Snake 'n' Ota hangin' with them?" Dedede asked.

Adeline shrugged, but Meta Knight had the scoop. "Mario participates in Otacon's anime nights... Also, Mario and Snake are council members." The last bit was said with a tone drier than Dedede's cooking.

"Wait, anime nights? You mean-" Dedede looked back again to see Mario pointing at Peter and Momoko while speaking with Rosalina, who seemed to hesitate before walking towards the two.

"Yes. Your _JoJo's_ is not the only anime in existence," Meta Knight stated.

"Well damn, I gotta get 'em into it then!" Dedede stood.

Meta Knight made a halfhearted attempt to stop him. "Wait, they are..." but Dedede was already too far off by the time the sentence was finished. "... selective..."

Dedede waddled up to the three, of which Mario was leaned back in his seat on his phone, Snake was slouched as he took a drag from a cigarette, and Otacon was hunched over his phone on the table. In particular, Snake's appearance was odd to Dedede... He was wearing a black suit and had a curtain beard.

"Hey there, so I heard y'all have anime nights?" he asked.

Mario didn't look up from his phone. "We don't care about JoJo's."

Dedede puffed up. "HOW'D YA... never mind. Why ya speakin' for 'em?! Pffft, _don't care about JoJo's._ Let 'em decide!"

"I'm not interested," Snake said.

Dedede's beak hung open in disbelief. "But you never wat-"

Otacon interrupted to explain for his rude fellows, "Look, I'm sorry, Dedede, but we already tried JoJo's up to Stardust Crusaders and didn't like it."

"... So how's it like havin' shit taste?" Dedede asked.

"Pretty great, my eyes aren't bleedin' on a slideshow," Mario answered back, still not looking up.

"So ya only care about looks?" Dedede accused.

Snake grunted in affirmation while Otacon nodded with a guilty smile and a shrug.

Dedede held his head high as he began to walk away from the group... but he really wanted more people at his anime nights. Turning back around, he said, "You know what, show me what ya got 'n' maybe I'll let ya in on the best anime gang in town! DK, Amamiya, 'n' Richter are regulars!"

The three gave each other a look before looking up at Dedede. A unanimous "No" was uttered.

"Can I join y'all, Otacooon?! Pleeease!" he begged, grabbing at Otacon's leg.

"No! Stop it! Get off!" Otacon shouted, trying to push him off.

Dedede's begging was interrupted by a voice.

"Excuse me? Testing," the voice asked from a speaker. It was Peach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been really lazy, but I got it out!


End file.
